Friday — The Overpayment of Roger Ackroyd

From the Series “The Payroll Manager Diaries: Tales from the Shared Service Centre”

Dear Diary,

Friday. The day I live for, and also the day I dread. Everyone across Europe suddenly remembers they had payroll issues that "need to be fixed before the weekend". Sure, let me just wave my magic wand.

Becky from Corporate HR sent out an office-wide email about "new, exciting changes" to our wellness program. Turns out, they’re thinking of mandatory lunchtime yoga across all our offices. Because nothing says relaxation like trying to stretch while your boss is watching. The last time we had a wellness initiative, it was group meditation, and the Italians turned it into a napping session.

Karen, of course, is thrilled. She’s already planning a series of "Yoga for Payroll Professionals" sessions and asked me if I’d like to lead a discussion on “Finding Balance in Payroll Processing.” I told her I’d think about it—which is payroll code for "never in a million years."

Just when I thought the week couldn’t get worse, I found out we overpaid Roger in Ireland by 2,000 EUR. That’s right — Roger, who can’t even fill out a PTO request form correctly, is suddenly richer. I called him to discuss the "overpayment recovery" process. He said he thought it was a bonus for his "outstanding contributions." Sure, Roger, let’s go with that.

Karen, naturally, was fascinated by this “overpayment event” and suggested we have a "Payroll Storytime" where everyone shares their favourite payroll memories. “It’ll bring us closer as a team!” she said with that same oblivious grin. I’m pretty sure Roger’s story won’t make the cut, but it would be entertaining if we turned it into a drinking game.

But the pièce de résistance was her email at 5:01 PM. “Hi Team! Just a quick reminder to practice self-care this weekend.” If self-care means indulging in a bit of vino while contemplating my life choices, then I’m all in.

Here’s to finding work-life balance — preferably in a glass!